CABRASH

What’d you see yesterday with Amy? Christmas With Gumby. Uh… … What’d you see? We wanted to see Star Wars, but it was full, so we saw Arrival. Sorry. Star Wars. We saw Star Wars. My mistake. Read more →

I love Asian pears. Are you, perhaps, referring to Benedict Wong? Yes. Yes, I am. Read more →

We probably should have waited for him. No worries. I left a note. Mmm. What’d it say? Just that one word. “Dead.” … … … I’m sure he’ll figure it out when it doesn’t turn over. Read more →

New pants. Christmas gift? Old pants. My other ones don’t fit anymore. Even though I’ve been using that app. Well, you did eat an entire plate of cookies on Saturday. No. That’s not it. … Google’s products are a sham. Read more →

Which would you rather see? “Trolls” or “Sing”? Umm… Can’t we see — like — an adult film? Hmm? … Like — what’s this “Mo’ Anna” about? Read more →

… … So then… I guess, no “Rogue Two”? Read more →

Thai mythology is quite confusing. It’s true. Yes – as you mentioned – the Hemaraj, but also the Seua Peek, the Nok Hasadee, and the Naga. … … … Read more →

Sic semper tyrannis. What’s that mean? Death to despots. Ah. … So then, you don’t like that ficus I got you for your office? Read more →

Did you hear this? Apparently, there’ll be no crawl before Rogue One. Oh, Annie. You don’t know our friends at all, do you? Read more →

Do you think we could crowdfund some money and hire some of those Russian hackers to fuck up Trump’s websites and businesses? Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah. Easy there. I know you’re angry, but let’s not do anything rash. I think, before you do anything, you should think about whether hiring Russian hackers is really the best idea. I mean,… Read more →

What’s she going to do now? Bailey? Gap year. I think. Oh. Yeah. I see. A year’s a lot. But then, I once spent a month with Diana in the Autumn Wind on loop. … That was a great month. Read more →

It’s pronounced “shirt tease”. … Absolute truth. Read more →

Why “Zest” though? Have you ever got any in your eyes? I have. Read more →

“All Hollows’ Eve.” You know – because of the crass commercialism. Are you just shilling for Black Flag? No. … Yes. … I don’t care. … No values. … No more. … Depression. Read more →

It cost me six hundred dollars. What would make you think to throw it? Just answer “yes” or “no”. Airplane mode was on, right? Read more →

Crocs? Nope. Knockoffs. Take a guess. No! Yes. “Crocks?” … Wow. Well done. Read more →

A: Always. B: Be. C: Closing. Always – be – closing. Always be closing. You want coffee? Hmm? You want soda? Hmm? Coffee’s for closers. Soda’s for closers. Closers – only. You think I’m fucking with you? Hmm? I’m not fucking with you. Close. Either that – or hit the bricks! … Wow. I let the heat out, for what, ten… Read more →

… … … (“Colours of Summer” by storebukkebruse is licensed under CC BY 2.0. Cropped.) Read more →

Visited my aunt in Seneca Falls last week. Went to the National Women’s Hall of Fame. You been there? Well! No Irene Cara. No Laura Dean. No Antonia Franceschi. It’s a disgrace. … Sally Ride’s in there. Mae Jemison. Eileen Collins. … I mean, they should be inducted somewhere, but… Read more →

How’s that go again? “It’s all in the wrist.” Yeah. That’s right. Uh… guys? Read more →

Do you think we’ll ever be as famous as Kate Beaton? Oh. I don’t know. I mean, Kate Beaton is smart, and funny, and so, so, so talented. Mmm. Yeah. … Do you think we’ll ever be as famous as Scott Adams? Henny – if there’s any justice – someday he’ll be as famous as us. Read more →