Author: Henrietta Krusen

… Sandra’s gone? You were in there a really long time. Restroom, Henny. Restroom. … Don’t ask where I laid my head. Read more →

I mean, sure, I considered getting into brand marketing, but there’s that constant smell of burning flesh. You know. You do something too much – you lose your love for it. … Read more →

That fool has 35,000 restaurants and he’s still puttin’ out donation boxes so we can buy him a house? Come on! Read more →

I’ve been reading a lot about superconductors lately. Mmm. Josephson, Müller and Bednorz, yes, but who’s this “Bernstein” I keep hearing about? Read more →

Okay. Fair enough. You’re right. I can’t point to Albania on a map. But you don’t even know what color shirt you’re wearing. Read more →

I’m a huge fan of Solomon Asch’s work. Yeah? Me too. Read more →

This year was alright, but I’m really looking forward to starting out fresh in the new year. I’m just going to stay home and watch the ball drop while I drink champagne. Yeah. There’s definitely something about it that helps you forget all the issues of the past year. Mmm-hmm. … Unless, of course, you’re Andrew Luck. Of course. Read more →

Yeah? If everybody has a talent, then what’s yours? Ventriloquism. Really? See? I can do it any time. I just need a dummy. … I could have said nothing. What then? Win. Win. Read more →

Do you have any Russian dressing? No. Last week though – on Friday – at two in the morning. … He wasn’t happy about it. Read more →

She’s so sweet to me. She knows I hate that fancy stuff so she got tickets to some kind of videogame thing in December. “Handhelds Messiah”. Should be good. … You know what… You’re going to have an amazing time. Read more →

Their anniversary. Yeah. Grosses me out when my mom dresses sexy for my dad. You wouldn’t be here if she didn’t. Ah. Yeah. True enough. Uh… I love when my mom dresses sexy for my dad. … Read more →

She’s the best, isn’t she? She is! I love how she’s always calling me “hun”. Me too! Granted, we haven’t accomplished as much as Attila and Bleda yet, but it’s still very flattering. They both died before fifty, so there’s still lots of time. … You’re Bleda. Read more →

He’s been doing a lot of gardening. What if you get him an X Hose? Nah. I don’t think so. He’s already got plenty of those walkin’ around. Read more →

I’ve been using Pantene Daily Moisture Renewal. It’s been a couple of months now, but I’m less than satisfied. Huh. … So then you’re still – umm – experiencing “personal dryness”? Read more →

I love John Candy. Yeah. Me too. … … I know it isn’t hygienic – but free sweeties are free sweeties. Read more →

He says, if he squints, he looks like Denzel. … Really helps if you squint too. Read more →

I couldn’t remember how to calculate molar weight, so I wasn’t much use to her. I think I could figure it out. … Do you have any pliers handy? Read more →

What took you so long? Bridge. Traffic. Bumper to bumper. Ah. I see. In the floorboards right? I beat border security a few times with that one. Read more →

You want to watch Parade’s End with me? It’s supposed to be really good. Maybe. What is it? It’s sort of a period drama. Ah. Should be up for that in about a week – week and half maybe. Read more →

What does he do? He’s a psychiatrist. Ah. Cool. Yeah… but I feel like he’s analyzing me when he looks into my baby blues. Ah. … So… postpartum depression. I didn’t even know you got knocked up. Read more →

I’m so sick of blind dates. Aww. Yeah. I can understand that. … What if we crossed some sort of a hawk with a Medjool? Can they do that now? Read more →