Author: Catherine Grant

Well… it’s getting late. I guess it’s time to hit the sack. Damn. I guess I’ve become too predictable. Read more →

Lot of planning yet – but it’s going to happen in August of next year. Pretty exciting stuff. After all this time, you’re finally going to make an honest woman out of her. Woah, now! I’m just going to marry the girl. I’m not – like – some sort of miracle worker. Read more →

So you got him a Retro Duo? That’s cool. I just hope he likes it. Whatever. The gift is for the giver. Mmm. Do I have to wait to give it to him or can I just start using it now? Read more →

Ayo! What you do last night? Watched Homeland. Ah. Yeah – hurricane season can get pretty crazy. Read more →

Let’s just go to Mr. Sub. Sounds like fun – but not right now. I’m sort of hungry. Uh… Oh. Right. The sandwich place. … They’re good too. Read more →

The what? The Cocteau Trilogy. Oh. Yeah. That’s – like – one part kirschwasser, one part cognac, one part orange juice. Not that. I meant Philip Glass. Don’t worry. I’m always a very generous pourer. Read more →

… … Uh? Why are you just sitting there staring at the television when it’s not even on? Woah! Is that what I’m doing? I’ve never seen it, but I thought this might be “Dark Blue Almost Black”. … Read more →

I don’t know. I think they might be a little too high-waisted and a little too yellow. Yeah? Well I think you’re high – and wasted – and yellow. … Now, even if everyone else tells me these look awful, I’ll feel this was money well spent. Read more →

Welcome to my humble dwelling! Hope you don’t need to use the washroom. Why? What’s wrong with your washroom? Nothin’. I just know what you’re capable of. Read more →

I shot eighty-three! That’s pretty flippin’ good, right? Whatever. I shot eighty-five. That’s okay, but in golf the lower score is better. Uh? Golf? Read more →

They always say that in soaps. “You’re not half the man your father was.” Well, any fool with an elementary knowledge of genetics will tell you otherwise. … “You’re approximately half the man your father was.” … “No disrespect intended.” Read more →

♫ What is it that you’re whistling there? What? Really? It’s “If I Only Had A Brain”. Umm… it isn’t. No lie? Wow. Read more →

It was awesome. We went camping, ate falafel, and swam in the Dead Sea. You could have done all that here and saved a couple thousand. Sorry, but there’s no Dead Sea here. No? Give it time. Read more →

Cheese ice cream! Who knew? Then again, I can’t remember the last time I had ice cream I didn’t like. I’d probably like any kind of ice cream you could give me. Yeah? What about doody and kaka ice cream? Umm, no. Pee-pee and wee-wee ice cream? No. Okay. So then don’t say crazy stuff then. Read more →

I don’t really like that sayin’. Really? What’s wrong with it? If a dude is your brother from another mother it sort of implies our dad is the common link. So then only one of our pops is legitimate. I think you’re analysing this too much. Ah. So then… you think it’s fine… right? Mmm-hmm. Must have got that from… Read more →