Author: Benyamin Ahmed

It was a easy fix. Just replaced the glass run channels and now they’re workin’ fine again. Cool. Where are the channels from? The brand? Not sure who the manufacturer is but they’re EPDM. Huh. Rappers seem to put their names on anything now. Read more →

… … … So racist. Read more →

So what you been doin’, Henny? I’m preparing a letter. Does the ICZN have any pull when it comes to animals’ informal names? Uh… I want them to rename Arctic Char. I just feel like, the way we’re headed, we’re going to need that term for something else. Read more →

… I could really go for a Irish black lager right about now. … Red? Yeah? You have – like – really, really specific taste in men. Read more →

Ayo! You want to go to Moto while we’re here? Sorry, but I can’t. I’m grounded. You’re grounded? Aren’t you a little old to be grounded? Sorry – I meant – like – rational and sane. You should totally go though. Hmm… Read more →

What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on? Hmm? Hmm-hmm-hmm? He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it. He’s a funny guy. Uh-huh. Mostly it’s his face. Read more →

They marked us both as friends of the groom in the invitations, but we’ve known both of them for the same amount of time. What’s that about? You don’t know? If things don’t pan out, Carl gets you and me and whoever else they marked as a friend of the groom, and Lynn gets whoever they marked as a friend… Read more →

Uh… Umm… Hmm… Bee? Did you try that new shampoo we bought you? Brilliant. Read more →

It was pretty cool. The drug’s supposed to, like, reverse deafness and stuff by regenerating hair cells in your ears. So that’s what helps you hear? Ear hairs? So then, at the rate you’re going, you’re going to have the best hearing in the world. Shh! You’re talking loud. I wasn’t… Shh! Read more →

It was such a good deal. Like, two fifty for a car for nine days? How can they even make any money that way? Uh? Hot-wire? Hot-wire. Hot-wire-hot-wire-hot-wire-hot-wire-hot-wire-hot-wire-hot-wire! There must be – uh – something – uh – to it? Read more →

God, if you’re listening, please grant me the skill and cunning to trick Yaya into making out with me. Dude! I am right here. God, if you’re listening, please grant me the means to travel back in time. … … Damn. Read more →

Sandra should have slugged that guy. I might, like, go visit that punk tomorrow. I just need a couple things. Gasoline and a match. It will be like that flick “Man on Fire”. Except the other dude will be on fire too. I could see that. You look just like Denzel. If he let himself go. Read more →

I can get away with a lot. All I have to do is give her them puppy dog eyes and she’s mine. Hmm. So then, does she, like, make a soup out of them or something? Uh… Read more →

Check this out! Awesome-joke-awesome-joke-awesome joke! Okay… so… a blonde, a brunette and a redhead… okay? … … Read more →

Ayo… this game is so violent. Yup. Darlin’? Yup. If you had to kill me… how would you do it? I’m pretty sure I’d strangle you. Wow. You answered so quickly. I figure that strangling you would show I had strong feelings for you… one way or the other. Aww… Aya? Yeah? I would strangle you too. Read more →